I guess nobody reckoned that I’ve turned out to be a lady, as what a friend of my mother told me when she saw me.
She was constantly smiling at me. She said she knew that moment would come when I would finally join a pageant.
I myself am still dumbfounded by the events that are happening to me.
I have already done fashion shows twice, co hosted an event, gone through screening, survived the motorcade and even walking side by side with Aaron Villaflor, an ABS CBN talent.
I never thought I could do all these things.
For all my years, I never really believed in myself. Though there have been instances that other people would tell me of my potential.
It never dawned on me.
I was constantly battling with self- pity.
I was never positive about myself which caused me a lot in the past.
So far, with the things I’ve done I have heard positive things.
This past months have been one of the most arduous task ever brought upon me.
I never was comfortable getting a whole lot of attention.
I always sought a life of seclusion and anonymity but I guess with my height, I can never stay invisible.
The girl who grew up being close to guys.
The one who would spend her breaks during school on top of a tree.
The same girl who used to catch guppies in a canal and who would play tag with guys.
I was boyish from primary until my early years in college.
It was only when I started my graduate studies that I realized that I also need to act like a lady.
Being a kid, I had an excuse why I acted boyish but I was already a grown up. A professional nurse at that.
Yes, it has been a 180 degree change on how I look, on how I carry myself and most importantly on how I saw myself.
However, there are still times when I think negatively about me.
I try to fight my inner demons for I know succumbing to them would only bring me down.
I, now see the real me.
I do hope that all the ordeals that I have to yet conquer will make me better as a daughter, a friend and a nurse.
May all the coming years in my life be a meaningful and beautiful one.
As I embrace my renaissance, I will always keep in my heart who I was before as it will help me to stay grounded.
The 180 degree change is starting and when it ends, I hope that I will become the best woman that I am destined to be as what God had planned for me.