180 degree Change

Who would have thought?

I guess nobody reckoned that I’ve turned out to be a lady, as what a friend of my mother told me when she saw me.

She was constantly smiling at me. She said she knew that moment would come when I would finally join a pageant.

I myself am still dumbfounded by the events that are happening to me.

I have already done fashion shows twice, co hosted an event, gone through screening, survived the motorcade and even walking side by side with Aaron Villaflor, an ABS CBN talent.

I never thought I could do all these things.

For all my years, I never really believed in myself. Though there have been instances that other people would tell me of my potential.

It never dawned on me.

I was constantly battling with self- pity.

I was never positive about myself which caused me a lot in the past.

So far, with the things I’ve done I have heard positive things.

This past months have been one of the most arduous task ever brought upon me.

I never was comfortable getting a whole lot of attention.

I always sought a life of seclusion and anonymity but I guess with my height, I can never stay invisible.

The girl who grew up being close to guys.

The one who would spend her breaks during  school on top of a tree.

The same girl who used to catch guppies in a canal and who would play tag with guys.

I was boyish from primary until my early years in college.

It was only when I started my graduate studies that I realized that I also need to act like a lady.

Being a kid, I had an excuse why I acted boyish but I was already a grown up. A professional nurse at that.

Yes, it has been a 180 degree change on how I look, on how I carry myself and most importantly on how I saw myself.

However, there are still times when I think negatively about me.

I try to fight my inner demons for I know succumbing to them would only bring me down.

I, now see the real me.

I do hope that all the ordeals that I have to yet conquer will make me better as a daughter, a friend and a nurse.

May all the coming years in my life be a meaningful and beautiful one.

As I embrace my renaissance, I will always keep in my heart who I was before as it will help me to stay grounded.

The 180 degree change is starting and when it ends, I hope that I will become the best woman that I am destined to be as what God had planned for me.

One thought on “180 degree Change

  1. very well said best friend. I can so relate to that. although I do not dream of becoming a beauty queen. hehehehe. =) I'll be home for you. Paliti kog ticket. hahaha. unsay attire? gusto nimog flowers? unsa na adlaw ang miss ormoc? sa fiesta jud? muuli jud ko oi. amishu. Just give it your best. God will do the rest.

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