Now: How To Fight Thoughts of Uncertainty

Walking Through The River

I read my previous notes in Facebook recently and I stumbled onto this free verse that I originally wrote August 4, 2012.

Standing in front of two eternities, sadness and happiness accompany me.

Trying to hold on to the dusts of yesterday, losing grip of what used to be.

Confused with the now as future is pounding at my door.

A bleak promise of tomorrow awaiting outside.

Fears and worries prevent me from moving further, for thoughts of you still linger. Time why do you change things?

Weak and weary but I will trudge on.

Now is my only possession, for the past is dead and tomorrow is unborn.

I sometimes I end up worrying too much about things that it ends up temporarily freezing up my life. I guess not knowing will always bothers us. The fear of not being totally in control of our life is an ongoing disease. Sometimes I resort to emotional eating or running. I always tend to run away from it. Realizing that it will never stop bothering me , I confronted it head on and accept reality.

Having peace within one’s self is never easy. As social beings, we tend to use others or things to solve problems. It takes a lot of strength to fight our own demons. There is nothing more debilitating than self-doubt.

They say that fear is one of man’s formidable enemies. We do a lot of things that tend to be destructive to ourselves and relationships. Do not let something non-existing win over your life. Decide to be positive and active. You are given enough time to make the best out of you.

The most freeing thing you can do for yourself is to never lose hope. Believe in your capabilities and know that things happen for the better

Do you have these moments too? How do you get over them?



Dealing with Negativity

I know joining Bb. Pilipinas would mean allowing everyone to have a say on your beauty and I am not new to getting negative comments on how I look.

I found out at an early age how most of the Filipinos prefer fair skinned and those who are half of something.
Here are just some of harsh words that some people told me.

1. You are ugly.
2. You don’t have the face to make it to a pageant.
3. You look like our maid/katulong.
4. Your teeth is ugly.
5. You look like one of the girls who are out at night looking for foreigners.
6. You will never make it.
7. You are just intelligent, join a quiz bee not a pageant.
8. You are weak and useless.
9. No guy will ever love you.
10. Why did you make it to the final 50 candidates, there are prettier girls than you.

What do I say to them?

I say nothing. I am the type of girl who would never let other’s judgement put me down. I have been dealing with negativity since I was young.  After being told I don’t have the looks to make it to a pageant, I trained hard and won First Runner Up in Bb. Ormoc 2009. What I do is simple, I use those negativity to push me further up. It makes me work harder and I always see it as a challenge to prove them wrong. The only mistake one can make in this life is to allow people to get the best of you and ruin your life. Always think past the negativity, being positive in yourself and the people around you are the only options to make the most out of life. Be happy, not everyone will like you but make sure to live a life that will make you into someone you yourself will love. For me beauty will always be more than a physical attribute. People can judge you on how you look. Beauty from within will always be eternal and it’s the kind of beauty that makes this world liveable and beautiful. So don’t fret and ditch the negativity.